


Want You

by ThatGirlDownTheStreet



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: First Meetings, I'll only add them when they become relevant so expect a slight twist ;), M/M, Oblivious! Johnathan, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slight Divergence AU, Summer Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2019-10-09 23:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17414888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatGirlDownTheStreet/pseuds/ThatGirlDownTheStreet
Summary: Evan spent his whole youtube career with the same friends.Only things are going to change when Evan begins to realize something is wrong. or right? depending on how he can handle his feelings.Evan is in love with his best friend.So when Johnathan asks to meet up, what is Evan to do?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! First time writing in a while. I also posted this to my Tumblr, but idk if I want to continue this, so, for now, it's a drabble. I hope you enjoy <3

He knew he was in love with the other man as soon as he heard his laugh. Evan couldn’t deny the grin that grew on his face the first time he had ever heard the delirious laugh that made Johnathan, Johnathan. For the longest time, Evan tried to tell himself that his feelings were just platonic love. And in a way, it was. However, years passed, and his feelings grew to something more. Something, that made his heart race faster, his laugh becoming breathy every time Delirious did something stupid.

Evan remained oblivious to his obvious feelings that had been festering inside his heart all these years. Evan had been secretly denying himself to feel anything more for Jon, than the normal friendship he felt for everyone else.

That was, until one recording session with Tyler and Brock. They had been playing the latest hype which happened to be Fortnite and frankly, Evan wasn’t very good at it like his friends, however, that didn’t stop him from playing. They were in the middle of two games and had paused the recording so everyone could get something to drink.

Evan ended up silently watching Jon’s recent video of Fortnite. While he waited for Tyler to return. He sighed and rested his head in his hands as he watched the video on mute. With that, brock perked up.

“Hm?” he muttered, inquiring what was wrong. Evan lifted his head and shrugged. Even though, Brock couldn’t see the movement he still did. “Nothing, just wondering how the hell you get good at this game.” He said with a small chuckle.

“I mean, god Delirious started playing as soon as it came out and was instantly good at it. That’s not even fair, really. He is so much better at these games than me. I’m kind of jealous.” He whined as he realized he was about to ramble on about his friend. He quickly shut up and sighed again.

Brock, only chuckles at that. Evan felt like Brock had a shit eating grin on his face but decided to ignore it anyway. “You don’t sound jealous.” He said, matter-of-factly.

Evan’s eyebrow rose in curiosity. “Oh? What do I sound like then, Mr.know-it-all.” He said in a mock voice. Still interested in what Brock was hinting at. “Well, I’m just saying you don’t sound jealous at all, really,” Brock repeated his sentence. Taking a pause before speaking again.

“You sound fond,” Brock said slowly and clearly. Evan nearly spluttered out his next words. “Fond? No-I, It’s just, I mean what’s wrong with being proud of Jon?” He said quickly. Even though they didn’t have their cameras on, Evan felt brocks smile across the screen again, he frowned.

“Mmhm,” Brock said before going back to doing something on his computer. Evan was glad he dropped it quickly. He was tired of awkward conversations like that. Before Evan had time to recover, Tyler was back, yelling into his mic and breaking the silence. “Alright fuckers, let’s go. By the way, I hope you don’t mind I added, Delirious and Marcel to play with us, they’ll be on shortly.” Tyler said.

Well, that’s great. Evan thought as he rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s fine.” Evan mumbled, pretending to be busy on his computer. Brock also replied with a small “That’s fine.”

Brock paused and soon added. “I don’t think anyone would be bothered by that at all, right, Evan?” He said in a sly voice. Tyler’s confusion adding into the mix. He added a small. “What the hell happened when I was gone.” Evan decided not to answer that, and neither did Brock, thankfully.

A couple silently minutes later, Marcel had joined the Discord voice chat with a loud, “Sup bitches.” To which caused Tyler to join in on the loud conversation. Joking back and forth, with laughs from Evan and Brock, the minutes flew by, before Jon finally joined. A tired voice spoke up. “ah, alright lets play.”

“Whoa Delirious, the fuck happened to you, you sick?” Tyler asked bluntly. Delirious let out a low, deep laugh that Evan had never heard before, and quite liked the change in Jon’s voice. His heart skipping, causing Evan to swallow as if he was nervously waiting for him to speak again.

“Nah man, I accidentally took a nap, I just woke up when you texted me,” Jon responded.

Evan stayed quiet, his mouth suddenly too dry to speak up. So thankfully Tyler had spoken up for him.

“Yeah well, why is your sleep schedule fucked? It’s 9pm grandpa.” Tyler taunted.

“Shut up.” Jon had whispered back, barely audible at all. His voice hoarse. “I’ll be back.” He spoke as Evan heard him get up hitting his desk as he made a small ‘fuck’ before leaving.

Evan cracked a smile as Marcel and Tyler snickered at Jon’s apparent clumsiness.

Evan knew Jon was strange, awkward, clumsy, and secretive. But Evan would be dammed if he didn’t adore those traits the most. Adored? Yeah, Evan didn’t have time to unpack that suitcase as he was being yelled at.

“What?” Evan so brilliantly asked. Tyler not being one for patience just sighed, Marcel let out a groan as well. Apparently, they had already set up a lobby.

“I asked.” Tyler drawled on. “Were we planning on recording?” Evan instinctively shook his head, and when remembering they couldn’t see his response. “Nah, I’m planning a GTA session tomorrow anyway.” Evan said, as he closed some of the extra tabs and programs open on his computer, to get ready to play.

“You, me, Brain, Panda…” Brock had apparently lost his train of thought halfway through.

“And me of course.” Del had chimed in as he nearly scared Evan out of his chair from appearing out of nowhere. It was a known fact that Delirious could be like a ghost. Randomly appearing in sessions and disappearing.

“An enigma like always Del.” Marcel had quipped in.

“Enough talking, lets play.” Tyler began to whine as he had clicked to start the match. Evan mumbled an agreement as the game had started and not even 10 minutes into the game Evan was starting his shenanigans, accomplishing his mission of pissing off Tyler, as Marcel lost it at Evan antics.

Del was starting to perk up and lose the deep sultry voice that had spoken earlier. Now back to his normal wheezy laugh. Brock yelling that someone was shooting, and Evan was dead.

Evan sat back and made jokes back and forth with Del as he was crawling waiting to be revived, except no one was going to. Del kept pretending to help but ended up getting down as well. Now Evan and Jon were in fits of breathy laughs.

Evans face a mix of red and pinks from laughing too hard, and just having fun with his friend. Well, friends, I guess. Even if the others were try harding now and trying to live, leaving Delirious and Evan to die.

“So much for teams.” Evan had pretended to pout in between laughs. Getting Tyler fired up.

“TEAMS?!” Tyler laughed and screamed at the same time. Tyler’s loud voice making Evan turn down the volume in Discord, yet again.

Tyler wasn’t really mad at Evan for being childish, but Evan decided to play along.

“Fine, we’re going on strike then, right del?” Evan shouted back, trying to hold back his laugh and not succeeding.

“Hell yeah!” Jon shouted back as they stayed in the call and muted everyone else. As soon as everyone was muted Del and Vanoss let out the last bits of their cackles. They continued to watch the rest of the match in their own ‘call’

Once Evan and Johnathan got a hold of themselves and could breathe again. Evan spoke up.

“So who exactly invited you to our GTA session?” Evan teased. He had technically not asked Del, thinking he was busy with Cartoonz and Squirrel. Brock was right that there was going to be someone else. It was Ohm. But now it looks like he was adding Del to the list.

“I did, bitch. Since you don’t wanna play with me anymore.” Jon pouted. It was all in good fun but Evan felt like maybe they weren’t playing with each other as much and there was some truth to what Jon was saying.

“What. Del we play together every week regardless of recording or not. I don’t think I wouldn’t ever want to play with you.”

Johnathan had gone quiet for a bit too long and Evans internal dialogue immediately thought he said something wrong. He was about to brush it off with a joke when Del spoke up.

“You know it bish. Don’t forget you love me too much.” And with that Delirious had unmuted the rest of the guys and yelled with them about the last awesome kill they had.

Meanwhile, Evans internal dialogue went silent for a couple seconds before the only thing he could hear was Delirious’s voice saying the word ‘Love’

Evan sat in the silence of the discord chat for a couple more seconds before mindlessly unmuting the guys. Evan swallowed hard, coughing and returning the banter.

After a couple more minutes of bantering and jokes. They played a few more games, that Evan decided to take a little bit more seriously. Just a bit though. It was too much fun to make Marcel and Tyler mad. Unfortunately, Evan was never one to get a rile out of Brock like Brian could, so he usually didn’t even try at that point.

A couple of games later, Evan looked at the clock. Although it was earlier for him, he knew at this point how many hours to add for EST and CST for his friends.

“Isn’t it 12am for you guys?” Evan spoke up when the conversation was simmering down. Marcel groaned. “Shit Simone wanted to go downtown tomorrow too.” He said in a muffled voice. Probably him rubbing his face.

“Whipped~” Tyler dragged on his word in a condescending manner.

“Like you’re any better Tyler.” Evan pointed out. “You know Kelly could kick your ass because you would let her.” Evan finished.

Tyler didn’t say anything back to that and just muttered as he left the lobby.

“Not our fault you and Del are the only bachelors left.” Marcel pointed out as everyone else also left.

“Speaking of which. I gotta go. Baby and all you know,” Brock said in a small voice, clearly not wanting to be the first to leave, but when family calls.

With that Brock left, and soon after Marcel, then Tyler. When everyone was done with their goodnights and teasing, it was just him and Delirious.

“You’re not leaving?” Evan questioned. He stilled a few more hours before he could even think about trying to sleep. Having friends in different time zones really threw your sleep schedule off.

“Nah. Had a nap already, remember?” Del pointed out. So Evan and Jon decided to stay on chat and catch up for the week. What videos they had and even what to do for tomorrow.

“Do you want to play some GTA then? So we can plan what we want to do?” Evan suggested.

The chat went quiet for a couple seconds and all he could hear was the clicking and tapping of each other’s keyboards. Evans anxieties making his heart race at the anticipation.

“Actually.” Delirious paused. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” Delirious spoke in a softened tone. This one far sincerer and more serious than Evan was used to. Making his heart speed up even faster. ‘we need to talk’ is a terrible sentence starter, really.

“Uh yeah okay, um… what do you want to talk about then.” Evan stumbled out. What a mess really. He really was way too nervous about this, but its not like he could help it. The call was quiet for a few more seconds when he got a message through their old skype chat.

Evans’ heart sank, and in panic, he didn’t know what to do with the fact that Del was suddenly video chatting him. He let out a small gasp that he hoped wasn’t audible to Johnathan. He clicked to accept the call and before he knew it, he was sitting face to face with Jon.

It’s not like he hasn’t seen Johnathan’s face before, its just he doesn’t show it often. Doesn’t like to and no one ever judged him for it, and no one ever forces him too. However, that didn’t mean Evan was prepared for it. Evan was not prepared but Jonathan… Del wasn’t either. Because for a split second Evan saw Del’s eyes go wide.

Evan wasn’t exactly the most extroverted person, so this was kind of awkward. He wasn’t sure what to say, and when their staring went on for a while as Evan observed how much longer Del’s hair was since the last time they video chatted.

It was medium length as it covered his ears and went down to the top of his neck. His messy hair obviously tried to be tamed, but it seemed that his hair was just as wild and messy as his laugh. Evan liked this hairstyle much more. His dark black hair was a perfect contrast to his tanned skin, showing he was getting much more sun that when they first met.

Evan remembered how much he would tell Jon how he was too secluded for his own good. But what got Evans breath hitched and caught in his throat was how perfect his baby blue eyes looked in the current lighting. That Evan couldn’t say anything as he felt his mouth slightly gaping.

Feeling like an idiot and as he felt his face get hot from embarrassment since he knew he was staring he tried to think of something to say.

“Y-your hair, it’s really long.” He spoke slowly and quietly.

‘Brilliant’ Evan thought. He really was a master of words.

“You too.” Jon spoke back. But with much more confidence than Evan just showed. Probably because Johnathan can see Evans face whenever he uses Instagram, It just wasn’t the same case for Evan at all. “Not fair at all.” He murmured to himself out loud.

“What?” Delirious responded quickly. Evan just shook his head. “I didn’t say anything” he acted and waved his hands to further prove the point. While Jon just gave him a look that said he didn’t quite believe him.

“I-eh. I’m just gonna say it I guess.” Started out Johnathan. Now looking at his keyboard as he bit his lip and inner cheek in frustration.

“I want to meet you.” Del suddenly blurted out. And if Vanoss was thinking about what he was going to say, that was the last thing he expected. Before Evan could even think of how to respond though, Del immediately tensed.

His eyes widening and the tips of his ears turning red. “ah well, uhm, you… you guys. I want to meet you guys, as in the guys. Like ya know our-my friends-“

“Del- I get it, you wanna meet up in person. Honestly, I think everyone will be glad to hear that.” Evan couldn’t help the fond smile that grew on his face as a small laugh made its way through his lips.

As much fun as it was to watch Del get nervous, he wanted to tell him that they were all waiting for his okay at this point.

“Really? Yeah- I- I guess so. Um… we can talk in the morning about it then?” He said quickly as possible, not really making eye contact with Evan.

“Of course. Get some sleep Jon.” Evan nearly whispered. Glad that his best friend of years finally wanted to meet everyone.

“Night Evan.” An even softer voice spoke through before the line went dead and they both had hung up.

“Night Jothnathan.” He said to his desktop. Knowing Jon wasn’t there anymore. He couldn’t help the bubbling feeling in his chest go away that made him happier than anything that’s happened in the past months ever could have.

It was then that Evan realized.

Bubbling feelings

Unexpected grins and breathy laughter that made your heart feel full

Getting lost in someone’s eyes

Noticing the small difference in haircuts

Getting nervous and losing your breath when they speak in lovely tones.

These were symptoms of something much worse than death.

Evan went still. In the middle of his room. His face dropped, and he couldn’t breathe.

The feeling of overwhelming happiness gone. Because at that moment he realized that Brock was right. He was fond. But it was something much worse than just being fond.

He was in love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I got such wonderful feedback from you guys, here is a somewhat swift chapter 2 ;) 
> 
> Also I'm a time traveler apparently, because the most recent GTA video had ohm, vanoss, brock, and Brian. LOL I thought that was hilarious. 
> 
> Let me know how I'm doing, because feedback is always good and helps me stay motivated to update!

Evan didn’t get much sleep that night. After he had gotten off the call with Johnathan he had maybe stood in the middle of his room, not moving for 5 minutes before he snapped back into reality.

“I’m just being…paranoid?” He whispered to himself, to help calm down the rapid beating of his heart. He wasn’t sure if paranoid was the right word to use, but it was the best he could think of with his head swimming in thoughts of Johnathan. His laugh and the confused and uncomfortable expression that he wore talking with Evan. Evan just shook his head and decided to ignore it by turning in for the night.

Except, now he was wide awake, and the thought of sleep was the last thing on his mind. So he decided to spend the night browsing plane tickets to North Carolina, L.A, or any place he could think of that Jon would want to meet them at.

Evan recently had moved away from his old home in Toronto and therefore was farther from Jon than he was before. He silently cursed himself for moving away now.

Before he realized it, it was 4am and he was still looking at ideas. Too euphoric to want to sleep he held his phone to his chest as he stared at his ceiling, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“This…sucks.” Evan mumbled as he turned over on his side, letting his phone fall next to him. He closed his eyes and fell asleep in no less than 5 minutes.

When he woke up he groaned and clicked on his phone screen. 8am. Curse his body alarm that refused to wake up any later than 10am. He sat up and rubbed his face going over in his head his plans for the day.

They didn’t have a session till 6pm that night, so he had the whole day to ponder his thoughts.

‘Lucky me.’ Evan thought to himself. Sitting down at his desk be began editing and responding to business emails getting tedious work out of the way and done for.

…

Before Evan had realized it, it was 5:30 in the afternoon and he was being bombarded with messages from the Discord chat and even text messages. It’s not like he was even late, but whatever. He slid back in his chair to grab his phone from his side table. Clicking on the messages.

‘ Look who's gonna be last now BitCH ’ -Brian (6)

Great. He was being spammed by Brian being a little bitch as usual. Evan snorted at the last messages before scrolling down to see a text from Brock asking if he was really gonna let Brian hold this over him.

Last he got a text from Jon.

His heart automatically skipped a beat and Evan cursed himself for getting excited over a stupid text. Not like they haven’t been texting for years. But with Evan now being hyperaware of his feelings, or as Evan liked to deny and call them mislead ideals.

Either way, Evan opened the message.

‘ I’m trying to team with Panda and get Brian kicked, hurry up so you’re not late ;P’ – Jon

Evan felt a smile grow on his face and couldn’t help but shake his head. He was grateful to have a stupidly wonderful friend like Jon.

He messaged back.

‘I’m there : )’

Now over thinking his message and wondering if a smile was too much.

“The fuck.” Evan cursed out loud. Was he a little high school girl with a crush? He shook his head and got out of his thoughts. This wasn’t anything but a passing phase. He just was confused? He hadn’t had a relationship for a year or so now. Maybe he was just? Tired?

Evan sighed and scooted his chair back to his desk and closed what he was working on before clicking open discord and joining the chat before waiting for GTA to load.

“Well well well, LOOK WHO-“ Brian began to yell as Panda kicked him from the chat.

With that, Brock exploded into laughter and panda joined him with his low chuckle. Evan smiling at their antics. Soon they heard the notification that Brian had joined back.

“YOU BITCHES.” He yelled as they kicked him again. Del now joining in on the wheezing laughter. Ohm joining in with fits of spaced out laughter.

Evan decided to start recording.

So when Brian joined again. Evan let out a loud. “WELL WELL WELL, LOOK WHO’S LAST TO JOIN AS ALWAYS.” To which an aggravated Brian yelled back complaints and tried to defend himself.

“Nope too late. I’m recording anyway, we all see you joining late.” Evan teased.

“YOU FUCKERS KICKED ME.” Terrorizer screamed. To which everyone responded by denying they saw anything or did anything and that Evan was right by default. Brian then began to pout, giving up but not without mumbles of ‘fuck you cunts’ aimed at everyone for their involvement in the plan.

After the bit had played itself and everyone calmed down, they went onto the new DLC that had been released. Loading in, he started off by showing off the new cars and weapons. Evan obviously becoming chaotic and killing everyone at any opportunity.

He and Brock making a secret pack to start killing Del, who was immediately offended that they both had teamed up against him. This went on for an hour or so, which was short compared to some other sessions he had been doing. So when he looked at the clocked he felt like he didn’t want to leave so soon.

“Alright! One last game. Last man standing!!” He yelled into his mic. Everyone yelled back their mutual agreeance. So with that, they decided the game rules. Only the new weapons and cars allowed and the last man standing wins. Simple enough.

So when they started they all decided to target Ohm first since he always seemed to try too hard to win. Once he was dead, They all decided to go after Brain, who screamed as usual and pouted after he was out.

Now that it was just Panda, Brock, Del and him. Evan went after Jon, while Panda accidentally killed himself which left Brock in tears of laughter and decided to target Evan. Evan decided it was time to be dramatic and when Del was low on health pointed the gun at him on top of the rooftop.

Del getting the hint and playing along went with the overly-dramatic dialogue.

“So… It looks like this is it for you Delirious. You crossed me for the last time.” Evan slowly spoke in his best announcer tone.

“No! Please… I… I Don’t- Don’t wanna die. Not like this.” Delirious stuttered as his character held up his hands.

“It’s too late.’ Evan said dramatically as Delirious broke the tension and accidentally made his character do jazz hands. With that Del let out a loud wheeze and Evan let out a breath of laughter, trying to contain it.

“I’m too young I haven’t even- I haven’t even seen what you like up close in person yet!” Del whined.

Evan froze up. Oh. That conversation. Evan had been trying to forget it as it had haunted his thoughts all of yesterday.

“I don’t even know if you really are that buff yet.” He continued to joke. Which just made Evan breathe in slowly to contain his now over-excited heart and sweaty palms.

It just so happened that luck was on his side though, because just then before Evan could stammer out any sort of excuse, the mugger he had called came by and stabbed Delirious’s character and he couldn’t help but snap out of it and laugh as he watched the character fall off the building, with Jon screaming as he fell to hit the pavement below.

While the rest of the guys were laughing, Brock had other plans and came flying by in his new car from the DLC, hitting Evan’s character and efficiently killing him in one hit, leaving Brock the winner.

Once they all chattered about for a couple more minutes, Evan was blankly responding but still kind of zoning out. Baffled that his realization about his feelings left him this off-put by Jon just messing with him.

With that, a voice pulled him out. “Hey, Evan? You okay? You’re being quiet.” Brocks soft voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Uh yeah. I’m gonna get going. Uh-Editing and all. Uh bye.” Evan said as he quickly left the chat before everyone could all say their questioning goodbyes.

Evan immediately hit his face with the palm of his hand. That wasn’t even convincing or a good reason for leaving. He groaned. What the hell was wrong with him right now. He knew this was probably a phase, but there was no reason to take it out on them.

Why did he have to think he could have feelings for his BEST FRIEND. He couldn’t imagine what it’s going to be like to meet him face to face. What if Evan was physically attracted to him?

A shiver going through his spine. How awful that would be.

Last Evan checked he wasn’t attracted to guys. He was barely finding time to date girls, let alone guys. He didn’t want to think about it anymore. It seemed it was enough identity crisis for one day.

He was getting out of his chair to go downstairs and eat a late dinner when his phone rang.

Weird. Most of the guys don’t call him, usually they just text, so he picked it up and saw the caller I.D

Fuck.

It was the man that had been plaguing Evan’s thoughts all day. Evan felt himself take a sharp intake of breath as the grip on his phone tightened. His heart accelerated.

He tried to relax his shaking hands and clicked to accept the call.

“Hey-uh hello? Strange for you to call. We were just talk-“ Evan was calmly trying to speak when he was abruptly cut off.

“Cut the shit Evan. Why did you leave so early? You’re acting off.” Delirious spoke in a similar calm voice, trying not to sound accusing, but still concerned.

“I-I mean I told you guys, I had to edi-“ Once again he was cut off, clearly Jon wasn’t here to listen to Evan’s sorry excuses for lies.

“Did I do something? Was it because of what I asked you last night?” Del went from sounding concerned to sounding hurt, even if he tried to hide it, which made Evan feel immediately guilty. Evan’s self-loathing made Del feel like he had done something.

“What? No that’s not it at all Del!” Evan nearly screamed back at him, almost insulted that Del had even felt like he was in the wrong. “I-I’m just dealing with something right now and I barely got any sleep, it was definitely not your fault.” He assured. “Listen no, what I said yesterday was true, we all would be more than glad to meet you, and that INCLUDES me. If anything, I think we should let everyone know and start making plans. Right?” He confidently spoke, waiting for a response.

“No.” Del simply put. Throwing Evan off and in a panic. But before he could even mutter out a measly ‘what’, Del continued to speak.

“You don’t get to sidetrack the conversation, Evan.” Hearing Jon say his name in such a direct tone honestly made Evan a little nervous and a bit excited, even if he would never admit it.

“You have been weird. Don’t think I can’t tell. It’s like you’re hiding something, you ain’t just tired.” He continued to chew out Evan. “We’ve been friends for too long. So bullshit.” He paused. “Okay, so maybe it’s not about what I said, then what is it.” Del went from being annoyed to pouting, just wanting to know what was eating Evan alive.

“I’m sor-“ Evan started before He was cut off again. Making Evan bite the inside of his cheek in worry. He didn’t know how much Jon was going to push the issue. But Evan didn’t like being shoved into a figurative wall.

“No. No no. I don’t want an apology Evan. Just. Whatever.” Jon said quickly. Now leaving the line silent. Both not speaking. Evan sighed.

“Okay. Well, are you done? Are you gonna cut me off again.” Evan playfully added, hopefully lifting the tension on the call. So when Del didn’t respond he took that as a ‘go ahead’ so he did.

“I didn’t mean to come off so cold, so yes. I am sorry.” He emphasized the sorry, hearing Jon mumbled on the other side of the line. “I really am sleep deprived, but I was just busy thinking of plans. I- I have to admit I feel nervous about meeting my best friend of, how many years in real life.” Evan admitted. It wasn’t a total lie. He really was, so it was half true. Apparently, it was enough of an answer because he heard a loud sigh on the other side.

“6 years.” Jon simply said.

“What?” Evan asked puzzled.

“You said best friend of how many years… It’s been 6 years… or something.” He added in softly. To which Evan couldn’t help but smile and let out a laugh. Agreeing with short ‘yeahs’ and with that Delirious voice returned to normal. Neither talking anymore about the short conflict.

“I was serious about starting to make plans though Del” He piped in.

So they both agreed to text the group chat to get on discord. And hung up the phone call, only to start a voice chat in discord. So once most of their friends were there, Evan let Del tell everyone what he wanted to do.

“I wanna meet up with you guys, ya know like in person. Somewhere.” He nervously let out, which in return led to a lot of silence at first, until everyone started to collectively agree, with added shouts of ‘yes’ and ‘finally’ from others.

“Oh! Yo, wait I have an idea! One of the guys I know down here was going to let me have a summer beach house for a couple weeks if I wanted it for a discount.” Marcel pitched in for ideas, excitedly.

“Oh hell yeah that sounds awesome.” Tyler agreed.

“Fuck that’s so far though.” Craig let out a whine, to which everyone just told him to shut up.

“Not our fault your bitch ass moved out to stereotypical L.A” Tyler mumbled

“Hey!” Mini let out. Getting a few laughs from Del.

“Wait. Shouldn’t we like.. ASK what del wants to do?” Scotty joined in.

“Aye. Well, it’s gonna suck either way for us fuckers in another country.” Nogla joined, referring to Brian and him, as Brian wasn’t currently in the call.

So for the next hour or so they decided to finalize the idea, and made plans to get everything ready in the next week.

They planned their meet up a month from now, this way they all had time to make back up videos and could all get the time off. However, some of the guys couldn’t get the time off, but at the end of their call those that were coming included: Evan, Jon, Tyler, Craig, Brock, Panda, Scotty, Nogla, and Marcel.

Some of the guys were clearly upset they couldn’t make it, but weren’t too disappointed, telling Del they would be there at later times anyway. Del wasn’t mad either and Evan could tell that he was excited and almost embarrassed by the guys' enthusiasm to meet up with him and was more than okay with the plans.

So as soon as the call ended and Evan said goodbye to everyone including Jon. He didn’t realize the big smile he had on his face. But he was okay with it, Afterall he was going to be meeting Jon in a few weeks.

For now, the pressure wasn’t quite there and as he finally went down to eat, he got a text from Jon.

‘Thanks Ev. : )’ -Jon 

Evan just stared at his phone for a while but decided not to reply. He just let out a chuckle and put his phone down.

“What a loser.” He said out loud to himself. Finishing out the day as normal.

... 

It wasn’t until Evan was packing for his flight, which was a mere day away that reality hit him like a bus. He felt his nerves turn up to 100% as he couldn’t eat anything and was judging everything he was packing.

He was a mixture of so many emotions.

Excitement mixed with absolute tension that seemed to seize every muscle in his body, leaving him unable to rest.

He was intrigued and relieved that he could finally meet the guy, but there was something else like fear.

Because what if Jon ended up being annoyed by him? What if Evan was obvious in person. If he let his blooming feelings show too much, would Jon be disgusted?

It was Evans personal goal to kill this feeling inside him during the trip. He told himself he would find everything unattractive about Jon as possible. He couldn’t. no. he shouldn’t continue to feel this way. Nor would it be right.

There was no way this would end well. He was only saving himself… right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan and Jon finally meet.
> 
> And its everything Evan was hoping and more.

The trip was going to be in Florida like Marcel had suggested. Which was great because, after the winter, Evan was rather fed up with the cold harsh winds of Canada. Since they had waited another month the weather would be perfect for the middle of June.

Evan was packing his simple computer setup, which was a laptop, and a back-up hard drive with old and new files on it. Trying not to focus on the harder details of the trip, he was busy going over the list of stuff he would need for the week that they would be there.

At this point he was on call with Marcel and had him on speaker while Evan was busy overthinking his wardrobe options.

“Dude. Are you still packing? Did you really wait until the last minute?” Marcel said in an amused tone.

It was true. Evan had waited until the last three days to really start putting together what he would need. Evan was usually a really prepared, even overly prepared guy so it was unusual, Evan knew this.

“No. I’ve been packing for a couple of days… I just. I’m making sure everything is here.” Evan said simply as he mostly was still throwing shorts over his shoulder after deciding they didn’t match any short sleeve shirts he had. Living in Canada for so long really leaves only a handful of warm-weather outfits.

“Are you freaking out? Sounds like you are. I know you aren’t afraid of flying. So let me guess. Is it ‘cuz of Jon?”

Evan just stopped moving and dropped his shorts and shirts that he was holding up. His shoulders slumped and he walked over to where he phone was laying down and took it off of speaker.

“Of course it is. Dude’s been my friend for how many years and I finally get to see how short he really is.” He joked. “I just don’t want to… I don’t know… I guess seem more like a lame-ass than I am.” He chuckled to which Marcel just laughed back.

“Dud you are a lame ass. That’s why were, and he is friends with you. You know Del isn’t THAT judgmental. If you worry too much, you won’t have fun. So suck it up.” Marcel lectured. And it was true. Evan and the guys knew Del wasn’t one to judge people because of the way they acted or looked. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have been friends with the guys for so long.

“Yeah. I guess. Well, I got to finish packing. I’ll text you guys when I leave in the morning. See you by tomorrow night I guess.” He let out after a breath of silence.

Marcel then said his goodbye and hoped for a safe flight for Evan. It was going to be a long flight which is why he was leaving in…

 He looked down at his watch.

9 hours. He sighed again and sat on the edge of his bed looking at the thrown clothes all over the room. Maybe he would go shopping once he was there. It would make more sense to find better-suited clothes in a warm place since Evan barely had anything short-sleeved that wasn’t black.

So Evan quickly finished his packing while not thinking too much about the logistics. He zipped up his bag and quickly called it a night. If he was going to survive tomorrow he would need as much energy as possible.

Evan kept going over the itinerary in his head. Unfortunately, Scotty had to cancel as he and Cristy had made plans to go to a gaming event and thought both trips would be too much. Craig was also going and after all his traveling in the past month decided to sit it out. Everyone agreed that it was too much and it was okay. 

However, Cartoonz otherwise know as Luke then decided to jump on board. Which was weird to Evan, since they already asked the dude and since he was going to the same event Scotty was, he decided to not go, but a couple of weeks later he said he would come for a few days since it wasn’t that far. But whatever, Luke was cool, so Evan and the guys were excited to let him join.

He had asked Jon when he would be landing in Florida and since he and cartoonz were on the same flight it worked out. Nogla would arrive first, Jon and Luke would be next by a day then Evan, Brock, and Panda, and lastly Tyler.

As luck would have Evan and Jons flights landed nearly an hour apart so they decided it would be easier on Marcel's gas bills to let Jon meet up with Evan and then Marcel would pick all three of them up.

Either way after he hung up with Marcel, Evan ended up staring at his computer screen for a solid 10 minutes, before shutting it and calling it a night, before he had to get up at 6 am to get to the airport in time.

His heartfelt calm for the time being. After all, everything Marcel said was true. Jon was going to be just as excited as Evan is to see him.

With that thought he fell onto his bed for the last time for a week and a half  and fell asleep, dreaming of what Jons eyes would look like up close.

…

   It was 9 am when his flight was finally up in the air and he had three hours of anxiety-ridden hell to sit through. He was shaking his leg and bouncing it to try and keep himself calm and he scrolled through his socials and listened to music.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t working, and nothing was keeping him distracted. All of the music he was listening to suddenly all sounded like romance songs and Evan wasn’t having it. That’s not what he needed. He shouldn’t love his best friend and he shouldn’t be thinking of every rom-com scenario when meeting him.

He ripped his headphones out a little too aggressively and one of the buds hit the lady sitting next to him. Evan immediately starting to apologize and felt embarrassed for being over dramatic.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ He started to ramble, but was cut off by the older lady waving him off.

“It’s quite all right young man.” She spoke slowly. Evan calmly sunk back into his seat and tried to relax for the remaining two and some hours. “Clearly something bothering you anyway, I can see you are quite nervous.” She continued. Looking over at Evan trying to read his body language.

“Ah. Am I that easy to read? Yeah. I’m nervous… really nervous actually.” He corrected himself. While the older lady looked at him and nodded her head as if she already knew and was right all along.

“business or personal?” She asked looking down at what Evan was wearing. Embarrassed, Evan responded in a quiet voice “Personal.” Evan was a little too dressed up, but he freaked out about what he was wearing this morning and was almost late. After all, he was meeting Jon for the first time, he should look nice right?

But apparently he was a little too… formal. Wearing a button-up tee and a nice pair of tighter than normal black jeans. He didn’t think it was much but, what did he know about fashion.

“Mm. So what’s the occasion? If you don’t mind me being nosey.” She asked casually.

Evan thought about it for a minute. “I’m meeting a good friend of mine for the first time.” He simply stated.

When the lady just gave him a quizzical look. He further explained. “I’ve never met them before in my 6 years of knowing them.” He went on. The lady just squinted her eyes.

“That can’t be it. I’m old and I’ve seen your nerves. It’s not as casual as you make it seem. I can tell. I’m a mother, I know these things.” She said in a simply-stating-matter.

“I mean it is- it’s just-“ Evan paused. Why did he have to explain this to a complete stranger? He was too tired for this.

“It’s just, you clearly feel more for this friend than just normal friendship, isn’t that right?” She practically whispered.

“What! No.” He nearly shouted and he felt his voice crack to keep himself from alerting this whole plane. The lady just raised her eyebrow. He just proved her point by being too defensive.

“Okay. So what if I do?” He asked casually. Feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

“Well. Then you make a move. If you’ve been friends for 6 years, you clearly have a spark, and if you are this dedicated to making a good first impression, then do it. Be smooth. Observe how they move. You should know if they like you back.” She spoke calmly. Evan was intently listening. Hovering over every word.

“But how am I supposed to know if he likes me.” He spoke back so quickly. It was then that Evan froze. He was trying to avoid pronouns and just dropped ‘he’. His cheeks getting redder he leaned away from the lady, expecting to be ridiculed.

“I suppose guys have a different way of showing affection and everyone is different. But I can always say this.” She spoke slowly. After realizing that she wasn’t horrified, Evan turned around to face her again to listen to what she was going to say.

“The eyes. The windows of the soul. They can’t lie. No matter how much you try to hide your feelings they always seep through. Look into his eyes. Watch how he moves around you. Watch how he follows you and asks about you. People are more obvious than you think.” She winks knowingly. With the last words, the older lady picks up her bag and pulls out a book and opens it to read for the remainder of the flight, leaving Evan to his thoughts.

His eyes. Jon’s blue eyes. The one thing that Evan can’t look right at without feeling weak. Great.

 …

The flight hadn’t been that much longer and before Evan knew it the flight attendants were buckled in and the Pilot came on announcing the weather.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Florida, the weather is currently 95 degrees with sunny and clear skies so expect an enjoyably hot day. Thank you for flying and enjoy your stay.” The pilot spoke over the intercom as they were driving into the gate. His nerves were worse than ever. He was panicking and his stomach was in knots. What if he looks different in real life? Would Evan recognize him?

He was gripping the armrest with a death grip. The lady next to him sighed and put her hand on his. “No need to be so nervous.” She said as she smiled at Evan. Evan let go of the armrest and relaxed his shoulders.

“Right. I got this.” He said to himself. The lady nodding her head.

‘I don’t got this.’ He thought. He was still freaking out, but he had to play it cool.

“I’ll walk you out sweetie, can’t have you buying a flight back now can we.” She chuckled. Evan felt like he couldn’t speak and just nodded.

He got up and grabbed the ladies’ hand, and together they walked off the plane, her arm wrapped around his. This wasn’t how he expected the flight to go, but he felt relaxed not being alone.

Evan really didn’t like being alone and maybe the lady sensed that. It’s why he never liked gaming alone. Evan wasn’t confident in himself enough to think he was funny, or enjoyable by himself. He hated when his friends said they were using his name in videos because he’s so popular.

Evan felt like he owed his success to them, not the other way around. But he always would laugh at it regardless, what else was he supposed to do?

With Evan lost in thought he didn’t pay attention to much else as they walked through customs and before he knew it they were in America.

“See. Now you just have to find him.” The lady smiled.

“You’ve helped me so much, can I help you find someone?” He asked curiously. The lady was so sweet, he couldn’t just let her wander off.

“Oh no sonny, I have no one to come home too, ill just wait for a taxi. You know I told you all that from personal experience, my husband was so dense.” She chuckled. Evan felt sad that she had no one waiting on her. “We both waited too long and before we knew it we wasted time that we could have been together, don’t do the same thing, take it from an old lady.” She said with a sad smile.

Evan wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m sor-“ He started before she waved him away again.

“But I’ll tell you what, not a day goes by I don’t regret telling that idiot I loved him. Because afterward, I got to tell him I loved him every day for 50 years. Even though I’m alone now, I loved the time we spent together. So go on. What are you waiting for?” She said, pushing his arm off of her and shooing him away.

Evan just smiled fondly. “Thank you.” He said as he grabbed his luggage.

“Of course.” She said as she took her small bag and wheeled away, down the escalator. Once she was gone, Evan felt the anxiety bubbling up again but took a deep breath in. He knew how to find Jon.

His eyes. He would know when he saw them. His cute ruffled hair that was a dark brown, his nearly flawless skin except for a little scratch on his chin that he saw when they video chatted. Evan took the escalator down and immediately felt his heart rate kick up as he frantically started to look around.

Once he was down he walked towards the main gate, wondering if Jon was around. He stood in one spot and spun around, looking over everyone’s head. Looking for the familiar male. He clutched his phone as he began to bite his lip. He quickly pulled out his phone and went to text delirious that he was here.

“Evan?” a voice so quietly whispered.

Evan nearly dropped his phone as his eyes went wide and he quickly turned around.

There he was. Johnathan. His best friend of so many years, and recently the man he had unnamed feelings for. The brown hair looking particularly lighter than usual, he wasn’t short at all, almost the same height as Evan, but just an inch or two shorter.

And his eyes. Blue. So damn blue it was incredible. Breathtaking and with the current expression of shock and happiness, Evan felt the need to hug the man, or worse. But before he knew it his legs were moving.

Evan dropped his bag and spread his arms out as he went for the strongest hug possible. He grabbed on to the guy for dear life. Johnathan returning the hug immediately, and with just as much force. He closed his eyes and laughed. Finally happy to meet the guy.

“After all these years, Johnathan.” He said, trying to stop his voice from cracking.

“I blame you for living so far away.” Johnathan whispered into his ear and they continued to hug. Not one of them refusing to let the other go. Johnathan’s voice being far sultrier and deeper in real life, than though the shitty mic he refused to throw out.

“I’ll take it. I’m just glad you are here now.” Evan breathed out, hoping than Johnathan couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating.

“Me too Evan.” Evan would never get used to in real life Johnathan saying his name, and the way he said it. Like it was a breath of fresh air.

Evan opened his eyes, hoping that this wasn’t a dream and when he did he felt his arms going slack. He was so tired from the lack of sleep this morning, but he couldn’t find the want to let go.

It wasn’t until he heard a loud and obnoxious cough that alerted them and brought them back to the fact that they were hugging in a busy airport.

Evan regretfully let his arm slide down off of Johnathan's shoulders as Jon let his hands drag across Evan's waist, sending chills up Evans spine that he refused to let show.

Evan was turning around to see who it was when they began to talk.

“You know I was looking for you guys and I thought, you know they probably are the most obvious people to find in this whole damn airport, so I go to the stairs look down and I see you two literally holding onto each other for dear life.” Marcel said in a pretend annoyed voice. Tapping his foot as he crossed his arms.

“Marcel!” Delirious said in a joyful tone as he practically jumped onto the other guy.

Marcel put up his hands but it was too late and Jon was crushing Marcel to death as marcel let out an audible “uf” as he breath left his body. “Good to see you too Jon.” Marcel awkwardly patted Johnathan’s back .

Evan couldn’t help but chuckle as he never expected Johnathan to be so touchy. Evan wasn’t really complaining though.

“Where Cartoonz?” Marcel asked quizzically. Evan just realized that Luke was supposed to be with them.

“Oh yeah.” Jon spoke as he let go of Marcel, looking confused, like he forgot Luke was supposed to be here.

“Did you lose him already?” Marcel said astounded holding out his hands out like he couldn’t believe Johnathan lost the guy he came here with.

Evan thought it was hilarious. It was good to know Jon was as much of an idiot in real life as he was online, and Evan found it charming.

“I think he went to the bathroom?” Jon said as if he wasn’t entirely sure.   

“Good to know I matter so much to you that you lost me in an airport Jon” A deep voice spoke from behind Evan as Luke came into sight and stood by Jon. His voice, faking hurt.

Luke waved to Evan and with a small smile said hey. Meanwhile, Johnathan looked a little flustered and pouty. Mumbling to himself. “I didn’t lose you, you just walked away for no reason so quickly. Didn’t say shit to me.” He muttered.

“Well!” Marcel loudly exclaimed. “Now that we are all here, shall we move on? Jon still has to meet Nogla after all.” He said as Jon lit up immediately again. Evan couldn’t do anything but stare like a love-struck idiot, because that’s what he was.

Johnathan was perfect, and he couldn’t believe Johnathan would think he was anything less. He wasn’t paying attention to the conversation between Jon and Marcel anymore as he just looked Jon up and down in awe. Evan looked at his outfit, the way he moved when he talked, and the adorable way he was so animated.

Jon was averagely built and although he didn’t look very muscly, and considering Evan knew the man barely left his house, he was still everything Evan could have imagined.

Once Marcel snapped at him to get his attention he finally came out of his trance, looking between everyone as he felt his cheeks go red, hopefully, no one noticed. He looked a Luke and immediately felt embarrassed. Luke gave him a devious smirk.

Evan was so fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! So I'm literally so SORRY that it took 6 months to update. I was traveling to Europe, changed positions at my job and was busy ALL summer, trying to make bank lol. 
> 
> But things finally calmed down and I got time to update! So YAY.
> 
> But anyway, here you go! Was it worth a 6 month wait, no, but oh well!!!
> 
> Let me know if I should do the next chapter from Jon’s POV or just the Airport scene from his view 
> 
> Idk if I want to save Jons feelings for a surprise. Because I won’t say how jon feels about Evan right now >:>
> 
>  
> 
> As always let me know what you think, and if you guys want my Tumblr or discord so you can harass me to update there, let me know. (I'm in a BBS discord too :))


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